Ahhh summer. In ministry summer involves camps, trips, and exhaustion. In the world of my children it’s filled with more flexibility, days at the beach…and of course camps. School starts for us in a week or so. While I am looking forward to a “schedule” again, this time of year makes me feel more inadequate than every other time of the year combined. As I read articles on how to “engage” us parents this fall, I thought I would throw out some helpful hints from a mom of three kids in middle school and one in college.
Give Me Time This Fall (And a Little Grace, Too)
I am so thankful that ministry leaders have calendars, planning, and notices for me. Leaders who offer “vision casting” for the year—even better. But while ministry leaders are casting visions and emailing schedules, I’m still trying to get my feet under me as we return to fall’s rhythm of school and extra curriculars.
Every day involves picking kids up from soccer practice, football, and guitar lessons. On top of that, my kids are doing school projects. As a family, we’re trying to stay on top of homework being finished, the house not falling apart, dinner being made and eaten, and the “regular” stuff that never goes away. I get calls, emails, and texts from the school daily about another “need to know.” Kids shove about papers in my face during the first three days of school.
I am overwhelmed by reacclimating to a schedule that I don’t control. It’s such a gift when ministry leaders offer time and grace during the fall.
Don’t Ask Me For Money
For my three kids “at home,” here’s what we’re spending when fall starts:
- School Supplies: $400 (Why does every teacher require a “special” binder?”)
- Uniforms/School Clothes: $600 (This is with two pairs of pants and three shirts each.)
- Shoes: AT LEAST $50 a pair if not more (Once they hit grown-up sizes, all bets were off.)
- Sports Fees: $100-300 per sport (This does not include the “extra” money I am asked/required to bring for raffles, team snacks, new cleats, and pictures.)
- School Field Trips: $50-60 per kid
All that considered, it’s priceless when the youth pastor doesn’t immediately ask for a deposit for the Fall Retreat. It’s not that I “don’t care.” Instead, I can’t give what I don’t have. It’s helpful when I can consider the Youth Group and ministry budget after the dust settles from back-to-school expenses.
Before You Judge…
I admit it, we can all be “that parent.”
I am trying desperately to keep up with everything, so the 15 different ways you communicate with me are actually really helpful. If you have single parents, divorced parents, or parents with kids in foster care, ask before you decide the parent has just “checked out.” My husband and I partner together in everything, plus I am always trying to push closer to Jesus, yet I still feel like I am an abject failure most of the time.
We probably won’t offer it up, but if you genuinely ask, “What can I do to help?” just offering makes it better.
I am not asking for you to make a “special exception” for my child. I am just reminding you that the unfortunate truth is youth group does not have the luxury of getting my single focus. We need you as a partner with us on this crazy journey with our kids. My children need you as another Christ focused role model in their lives.
If you just give me until November, I will have the fall figured out—just in time to start looking at basketball, cheer, and Christmas. Oh, and the spring retreat and next summer’s missions trip