Ever watch SHARK WEEK on the discovery channel? Sometimes ministry feels like we’re swimming with the sharks and one is going to bite with criticism. Yesterday we identified a few different types of criticism, and today we’ll look at some healthy ways to respond to criticism.
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One Day, One Community, One Impact – 1ByYouth
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RESPOND QUICKLY…not too quickly
We honor others when we respond to their criticism. We both want to be known as the kind of leader who commits to timely responses. But, we want to be wise enough to delay our response long enough to settle our heart so it’s not an angry response. We also choose not to ever respond on our day off (actually, we don’t even check email on day off—who wants to hear criticism on our Sabbath?).
KEEP QUIET
Don’t spread the word about your critics. The church is filled with enough gossip and you don’t need to add new toxins into the relational stream. Sure, you may need to share the burden with someone, but limit your talk to a trusted few.
EXPRESS YOUR EMPATHY
It’s been our experience that many critics are speaking and expressing from their own pain and are looking to be heard. Let them know they have a voice and they’ve been heard. You can even thank them for sharing their opinion. Pained people don’t go away when there’s no response…they usually get louder.
ADDRESS THE ISSUE
Empathy won’t be enough for many critics, therefore it is important to engage their issue. While criticism always stings, it also may add a fresh perspective to your ministry. Learning is a necessary element of healthy leadership, but the new lessons won’t always be sweet and comfortable. If the critic is right, let them know you agree (refrain from saying, “But how you said it was wrong”) and take the learning and move on.
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One Day, One Community, One Impact – 1ByYouth
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Some critics will be way off base (like the hungry dad from yesterday’s email), and if you have a chance of being heard, graciously let them know that you disagree. Show respect, and if necessary, make sure your supervisor knows what’s happening so he or she isn’t caught off guard if the critic pulls an “end around” and goes to your supervisor.