So as I dragged my laptop out to get some writing done in my home office today, I had to sweep aside four past issues of The Amazing Spider-Man, a geometry book that might as well be written in Japanese to me, and a calculator I’d need a master’s degree to run. (Yes, I share an office with my sons!)
Not surprising, really. I thought it might look like this—it’s been several weeks since I’ve been able to write. So pulling myself up the stairs, I started to brace myself for ‘the kids having my desk all messed up.’ I embraced the familiar blanket of mild frustration and slight irritation.
And as I sat down, God yanked my chair right out from under me.
“You sure do speak a good line about making your family your first ministry.”
“What, Lord? You know I do my very best to do that!” I whined.
“And yet you’re frustrated simply because they have some stuff on a desk you SHARE with them? You’re an idiot.” (OK, that’s my paraphrase…but that was the gist.)
It’s easy to talk a good line about making your family your first ministry. But that takes more than scheduling and keeping a day off, or putting a quota on how many nights of the week you’ll be out of the house.
Some questions I hope you’ll ask yourself regarding your family:
1. When was the last time I sent a note of encouragement to someone in my own household? Whether it’s a Facebook post, a text or e-mail, or a snail mail, your spouse or kids could probably do with a little bit of encouragement. Being married to us and living as pastor-kids is not the easiest job in the world. If you’re encouraging people in your ministry (and you should be!) do it for the people in your own house.
2. When was the last time I spent as much time planning a family event as I do youth events? I know it’s easy to get in the rut of “I’m spent—I’ve given so much energy at church that I just wanna veg when I’m at home.” That’s a rut your family cannot push you out of. Get behind that car and push! Your family deserves the same intentionality and purpose that your ministry does!
3. When was the last time I allowed my life to be interrupted by my family? We take calls, texts, middle-of-the-night-panic-stricken pleas a lot in student ministry. It is truly a life interrupted—whether it’s office time, personal time, or family time—ministry can be messy an inconvenient. Can you imagine what kind of legacy you build with your family when you allow interruption from them—an unscheduled lunch, an impromptu movie, a “sub” for your small group so you can have a night at home?
With all we do to reach students and their families, sometimes our own family gets unintentionally dissed. Unless I miss my guess, your family is possibly some of the best youth workers you have—sacrificing time, cleaning up, making it easier for you to reach people—things we dream of having in youth workers we enlist.
Honor that position they hold. Be intentional about reaching them. That legacy is the greatest one God will place in your care.
Darren is a veteran youth pastor in Corpus Christi, TX, and co-hosts a weekly podcast for parents of teenagers (http://www.facebook.com/mipodcast) with his wife, Katie.