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Stop Believing These Lies About Leadership

Stop Believing These Lies About Leadership

There seems to be this notions that if a leader needs help, they shouldn’t be leading. I think that’s just dumb thinking. I believe that type of thinking is a huge contributor to pastors (and especially youth pastors) being overtaken by their struggles, and no one recognizing it until it’s too late. Now, I’m definitely not saying it’s the main reason, but it’s definitely a contributing factor.

I talk to a lot of youth pastors who feel like they have no place to go when things are going wrong, because they have to be the man or women everyone looks to all the time. So they try to be that person who knows it all. For some of them, they feel the stress of knowing that they struggle, but can’t be open about it because it makes them seem weak in the eyes of their peers.

Well, the idea that “leaders know everything and do not struggle with anything” is a stereotype that is killing the reputation of the church.

If you’ve found yourself feeling this way, allow me share two thoughts with you:

It’s a lie. Yes, God has called us to a higher standard, but never get that confused with perfection. We as leaders must deal with our struggles, just like everyone else, by first confessing. We are just as human as everyone else.

  • Suggestion: Sometimes we believe the lie that we need to handle things on our own. Listen, you will need accountability for the rest of your life, just like every other believer. So, get some family, friends, small group, or other pastors in your corner so that you have a place to be held accountable.

It’s a trap. Sometimes our ego feeds into the notion that we are supposed to know everything. It feels good when everyone is coming to you for help. But it’s a trap. It deceiving you into thinking you’re someone you’re not. It deceives you into thinking you know more than you do.

  • Suggestion: Don’t fall for the trap. One way to steer clear of traps is to invite God to examine your heart and motives daily. David prays specifically for this in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” 

Also, here are a few other truths I try to remember that help me steer clear of the trap:

  • As a leader, I should always be learning and growing.
  • As a leader, I should be the first to admit I’m not perfect, neither do I have all the answers, but I do know the One who does.
  • As a leader, I should always point people to the source. Any advice I give you, comes from him.
  • As a leader, I should never be ashamed of what I know to be true. Even if it means letting down people who believe we need to be perfect.

I hope this encourages you to get help if you need it. No matter if you’re struggling with pornography, lust, your calling, your marriage, or the church you’re working at. I want you to unashamedly get the help you need. Don’t wait and get caught, do it now. Praying for you!

Hope it helps,


4 thoughts on “Stop Believing These Lies About Leadership

  1. Thank you for this post–it’s something we have to notice about ourselves.

    When I get caught in a cycle of not asking others for help and trying to do everything by myself, I am reminded by close friends that part of my calling is to help others lead and get support through them, as in Exodus 18, starting around verse 14. Moses’s father-in-law tells him that if he doesn’t teach others to lead and let them share in the burden, he will not endure. The more I involve our group leaders and give them the opportunity to grow, the better it is for the program. Plus, I’m hoping for a shorter burnout rate!

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