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[CONFLICT] 5 Steps for Healthy Confrontation

Hey there Insiders,

Here is a new post from the wonderful Tim & Tasha Levert on easy steps that you can take toward healthier confrontations in your marriage! Enjoy 🙂

Tim and Tasha Levert By TIM & TASHA LEVERT

I (Tasha) hate confrontation. I hate confronting. I hate being confronted. I’m more inclined to slide into a difficult conversation holding a large bowl of ice cream. Tasha truth: Ice cream makes everything better.

I (Tim) don’t mind confrontation. I’m not saying I like it, but I’ve seen how healthy confrontation builds stronger organizations and relationships. Tim truth: I prefer New Orleans snowballs to ice cream.

When it comes to conflict, most of us go into hiding or go on the attack.

Here are a few thoughts to help you live in the healthy space in between and avoid eating another gallon of ice cream or snowballs.


  1. Pray before a difficult conversation. And during the conversation. And after it. The heart of Jesus in Matthew 18 is that when we deal with conflict in healthy ways, his spirit is with us, helping us move towards reconciliation.
  2. Speak the truth in love. Most of us err on one side or the other. If we speak love with no truth, it’s useless flattery. If we speak truth with no love, we come across as mean.
  3. Focus on restoration and reconciliation. Many of us want to win any conflict we’re engaged in, but for us to win means the other person loses. Fight the urge to win, and allow God to replace it with a desire to be reconciled with the other person.
  4. Offer and ask for forgiveness. Trying to figure out who’s more right and who’s more wrong is a waste of time. Instead, own your stuff, ask for forgiveness, and offer forgiveness to the other person.
  5. Commit to moving forward. The first time you interact with someone after a difficult conversation can be painful. It’s awkward for both of you, so commit to being the one who pushes through the funk and moves towards normal.

Healthy confrontation exists in a place that avoids hiding and fights against attacking. Choose to confront well, and save your ice cream for your next date night.

Thanks for loving each other and your students,

Tim and Tasha

@timlevert   @tashalevert

*Don’t miss another marriage and family tip from Tim & Tasha Levert or Jake & Melissa Kircher! Get their posts emailed directly to you every Friday when you subscribe to the SYM Today Newsletter!*


0 thoughts on “[CONFLICT] 5 Steps for Healthy Confrontation

  1. Hello youth ministry nation! One thing Tasha and I didn’t mention in this article waste importance of having conversations face-to-face rather than through email or even over the phone. Sometimes it’s impossible to pull off, but it’s worth the effort to meet in person.

    What do you think?

    • Anne Stapleton

      Love the article! And yes, face to face is so much better for confrontation if reconciliation is the goal. Both parties are able to see each other’s faces, body language and eyes. In a text or email, there is so much room for misinterpretation of HOW someone is saying something. It’s easy to read negative motivations into people’s written words. Phone is better than written but it still is missing the non-verbal cues….and the physical touch (like a hug) which is powerful.

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[CONFLICT] 5 Steps for Healthy Confro...

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