An angry parent can be intimidating and overbearing. Whether the encounter is planned or by surprise it is so important to check your heart. An angry parent is most likely coming to you because they want the best for their child, not to take you down. Unfortunately, separating the emotions from the reality is difficult.
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Early on in ministry I received a long and angry email from a parent who was upset with the format of the ministry. She blamed me for her child being disengaged, and she claimed that she was not alone in her feelings. I was so angry that I printed out the email, highlighted sentences I disagreed with and made comments in the margin. And then I held onto the email and pinned it above my desk. I allowed the anger into my heart to consume me. However, the anger did not stop there because I allowed several negative encounters with parents to build up inside of me. The result was a lot of resentment that prevented me from truly working with parents.
It wasn’t until I received some insight and talked it over with my pastor that I realized I was in the wrong. While having a plan to handle angry parents is important, it’s even more important to check your heart before and after an encounter. Make sure you are:
Checking In With God and Seeking Insight From Others
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While you don’t want to dwell on the moment you want to identify the emotions beneath the emotion. Writing it down or discussing how you are feeling with another person will help you unpeel an array of emotions. You may discover that it’s not really the parent’s anger that’s bothering you, but the insecurity you’ve been holding on to has finally been revealed. Or, maybe the interaction has brought back a bad memory of a previous altercation. Or, you might find that your heart is hurting because you are dealing with something else on the side.
So next time that angry parent calls or stops by take time to stop and look inside your heart. The idea is to address the emotions and take the next step forward.