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Your Church Critics

Critics: they’re everywhere! It feels like something in our public air waves has changed and everyone really IS a critic. Is it social media? Is it “post Christian” society? Is it a God-given right? Are we just a grumpier people?

I was talking about this dynamic with a ministry friend just yesterday and I don’t like where we’re heading. She and I both partner with a lot of churches in evaluating their ministries and staffing. I think this line of work is what makes me hypersensitive to the difference between evaluation, coaching, critiquing, and criticism. What’s good and what’s really just damaging? What’s within the realm of “saying only those things that edify one another” and what isn’t?

Two examples: The Super Bowl and SNL’s 40th Anniversary show. Why would Christ-followers decide its a good thing to get on FB or Twitter and keep sharing negative things about the performers? What happened to, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I watched the SB half-time show and enjoyed it in the moment for what it was: Katy Perry performed, the tiger was something else, and you don’t see dancing sharks every day. Why would I post criticism before posting positive comments? The world is watching us, church leaders, and when we’re snarky, it just proves their point. “See? What kind of love is that? I don’t need any part of that.”

Or take last night’s SNL show. Of course there were dumb skits, bad acting, and off notes. Its SNL! You got what you paid for, so to speak, when you tuned in. I thought it was epic! Did people look older? Yes, thus the reason it was a 40th anniversary. Me? I was blessed by being united with “old friends.” Through the magic of TV, I spent time with different decades of my past.

Church, why criticize? Don’t tell me its all “a teachable moment” or “its a free country so I can say what I want.” The truth is we do “catch more flies with honey.” We earn the right to say tough things when we’ve earned the rep for saying positive things as well.

And yes, I get the irony of me criticizing criticism.

7 thoughts on “Your Church Critics

  1. You make some valid points here. One thing i’ve learned is that in ministry we have to think 3 or 4 times before we post anything, including our opinions on social matters. Kids and parents view social media regularly and we don’t want them scratching their heads thinking, “he posted what?”

    I have a friend who is a pastor and some of his facebook posts make me cringe and think, “i’d never go to a church with some of the things he posts and makes comments on.” We have to be careful. I’ve often found my wife has been a good filter for me as far as yes or no on whether I should post something.

    There’s always the old school mindset of, “would you want Jesus to read your criticism?” Granted some is valid and we should call out some things, but overall the positive should outweigh the criticism!

    • Stephanie Caro

      Thanks, Marc. I’ve thought the same thing about friends’ posts; what do you think? Should we (in love) call them out privately about something like that? One thing I know is that even if I post something idiotic or crazy, I’ve thought it through the filter of what others will read into it or how it could affect them. “If it causes my brother to stumble…”

  2. You make some valid points here. One thing i’ve learned is that in ministry we have to think 3 or 4 times before we post anything, including our opinions on social matters. Kids and parents view social media regularly and we don’t want them scratching their heads thinking, “he posted what?”

    I have a friend who is a pastor and some of his facebook posts make me cringe and think, “i’d never go to a church with some of the things he posts and makes comments on.” We have to be careful. I’ve often found my wife has been a good filter for me as far as yes or no on whether I should post something.

    There’s always the old school mindset of, “would you want Jesus to read your criticism?” Granted some is valid and we should call out some things, but overall the positive should outweigh the criticism!

    • Stephanie Caro

      Thanks, Marc. I’ve thought the same thing about friends’ posts; what do you think? Should we (in love) call them out privately about something like that? One thing I know is that even if I post something idiotic or crazy, I’ve thought it through the filter of what others will read into it or how it could affect them. “If it causes my brother to stumble…”

      • I believe by reading scripture that unless it’s something that would cause someone else to stumble then it’s not worth me calling them out. The majority of the stuff my friend puts on social media is bashing a certain type of theology that i subscribe to and puts out vague verses to defend certain views and it’s just not the kind of thing that is helpful for the body overall. we should be building each other up, not tearing each other down. If we have differences of opinion, that’s fine, but as a minister, we should have better sense that to be putting up websites that bash a certain viewpoint, etc. Like i said earlier, if your bashing and criticism outnumbers your positive tweets or posts, then maybe it’s time to reconsider social media.

      • Stephanie Caro

        Good call. Thanks, Marc.

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Your Church Critics

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