Simply Insider
Amber Cassady

Content Marketer for Simply Youth Ministry and Group Mission Trips. College girls small group leader. Coffee lover. Fan of hiking and skiing as much as she can!

Hey Y’all!

I know technology is an important part of what we all do. But are we letting it take over our entire life? Here are some great tips from Jake and Melissa Kircher to help you set boundaries with your favorite devices:

Nora_newborn-18 By Jake and Melissa Kircher

As the school year is in full swing now, and our schedules have filled with a million things to do, it can be really easy for technology to take over your time. Twitter, Facebook, email, Instagram, Vine, text messaging; all these things can suck you in so that work and ministry become a 24-7 gig. Technology is definitely not bad. And when it’s used in a healthy, balanced manner, it greatly enhances both ministry and life. But when you find yourself staring at an iPhone screen more than your spouse or family… something needs to change.

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This area has been a particular struggle in our own marriage, and one that we have by no means figured out. We’ve had many talks and constantly wrestle with what boundaries work for our relationship. In this day and age you can’t completely disconnect from the world, but nor should you be so distracted by constant email pings and texts that you’re not present for your family. This technology conversation has a lot of gray areas and so it takes a fair amount of effort and communication to hash out.

Here’s the main goal: Don’t allow screen time to replace face time.

People need attention. They need you to be focused on them, listening, alert, and engaged. There is no formula or set of rules that you can follow to guarantee you’ll be great at paying attention. And chances are that as the capabilities of technology expand and integrate more and more into our daily lives, this will be an area you’ll have to work on a lot.

As you talk with your spouse and family about technology, be sure to listen to each other’s opinions and work together to create boundaries that fit your unique needs.

Here are some things we’ve enacted in our own marriage and family life:

1) No technology at meal times. Phones are off or on vibrate, they are not sitting on the dinner table. Computers and iPads are closed and put away.

 2) No charging devices in the bedroom. It’s really hard to have quality time when things keep buzzing, dinging, and drawing our attention away from each other. Plug in and charge the electronics in another room.

3) Work email goes to a work computer. For us it helped to not have ministry emails dinging into Jake’s phone. It kept him constantly “at work” even though he was home.

 4) The freedom to say no. We each have the freedom to express frustration if we feel the other one is being sucked too much into the technology tornado.

5) One Sabbath day. Technology is turned off and totally ignored one day a week. (In theory! We admit, this one is hard to do.)

Have fun using these new ways to limit the control technology has on your life!

Thank you for loving students,

Jake and Melissa Kircher

@jakekircher      @MKircher83


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  • Scott says:

    The do not disturb feature of the iPhone is a sabbath saver. Turn it on only lets a very select few through to your phone.

  • Jake and Melissa says:

    Good call Scott! Jake has that set up for evening when he’s home. It does help a ton!

  • […] Does You Control It or Does It Control You?   I’m talking about technology.  Well, the article is.  It’s the reminder I need on a regular basis.  It’s why I don’t own a smartphone or have cable.  I enjoy the perk of having extra money in my bank account by not having those items and the extras that become necessary with those items, but I also enjoy the “new Amish” lifestyle it forces me to have by not having the vastness of the internet at my every whim or the latest tv show chatter that others feel they “need” to stay up-to-date on.  Here’s another related video called “I Forgot My Phone” that shows what we miss when we can’t break the trance of our electronic devices…we miss real life happening around us.  Which means we may miss opportunities like this.  Which relates to this article called “Slow Down and See Kids Like Tyler.”  […]

  • They need you to be focused on them, listening, alert, and engaged.

  • Madame B says:

    THANK YOU!!!! Its been hard trying to find that balance.

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