Leneita Fix

Leneita has been involved in youth or family ministry for over 24 years serving in rural, suburban and urban settings, camps, small and large churches and non-profits. She has authored or co-authored several youth ministry books, including Everybody’s Urban Understanding the Survival Mode of the Next Generation among others. Leneita is the ministry and training coordinator for BowDown Church, co-founded a coaching and training organization called Frontline Urban Resources (everybodysurban.org) and lives with her amazing husband John and four children in Florida.





Invite teenagers into an epic adventure with Jesus. Check out Pierced: The New Testament today!


How many of us remember “Baywatch?”   The series spanning over a decade was known for it’s beautiful lifeguards jogging toward the water to save some poor drowning soul.  The running joke of course was that no one cared about the plot.  Guys wanted to see the very buxom Pamela Anderson and girls wanted to see guys with six packs.   Here is the irony.  While the beach scenes were full of two pieces, the female cast always wore a one piece.

In the last couple of weeks I have had numerous discussions about whether or not those of us in youth ministry should dictate the summer uniform of our students.

Bikinis, shorts, and tank tops are among some of what we must navigate.  I recently heard someone say,  “Well my unchurched kids just don’t know any better.”

The easiest approach is to just balk, “Modest is Hottest,” and move on.   However,  especially with our unchurched students if we merely give a list of rules,  they may or may not choose to follow them.  They may or may not care is they are causing another person to “stumble.”  (If they even have a clue what that means.)  So where do we begin the conversation?

  • Teach Purity- Not Modesty

Modesty is about clothing, or covering.  At the water we focus on a bikini. Yet, recently a guy told me,  “If I let my eyes linger and my mind wander it really doesn’t matter if a girl is wearing a large sack.”   The ongoing discussion should be on the struggle to understand purity.  This deals with what we allow to come into our soul through our eyes, mind, ears and heart.   It goes way beyond the clothes.


  • Year Round Dress Code

I am a firm believer in both dress codes and rules for our youth programming.  Rachel Blom did a great job of spelling this out in her blog here.  This is less about a set of “do’s and don’ts”  and about creating an environment of standards.  These ideals should be posted,  and gone over often.  Expectations should be clear of our consistent students.  New students are informed for the next time they come.  Guidelines help level the field whether churched or unchurched as to what they are “supposed” to do.

The question is less about what goes on our body and what is going on in our hearts.  Our unchurched students may have never been told  any of this before.  Our “churched” students may have heard  but never understood.Most importantly will we explain WHY this is idea is important to us?  In Part 2 we will discuss three questions we must ask every student in the great bikini debate.


Do you allow bikinis in your programming?

How service-minded are your teenagers? Take this short quiz to find out!


  • Jeff says:

    I dont allow 2 pieces in my ministry. We have a 1 piece rule. If you want to wear a 2 piece, you must wear a tshirt over it.

    When I first started at my current church there were a few upset at the rule, but I’ve been here 6 years and nobody even questions it anymore.
    I also find it helps some girls who struggle with body image. They dont feel like people are looking at them or judging them based on appearance or by the fact that they might have chosen a 1 piece over a 2 piece in the first place.

    • Leneita Fix Leneita Fix says:

      So true Jeff on the body image issue. Some girls are trying to “cover” their bodies because they want to hide. This allows them to know we are all created amazingly gorgeous in the eyes of the Lord, it’s us people that decide to filter people. How can we help them understand this? It’s another way to help them see. Yes we have the t-shirt rule as well- and no white shirts either. A friend of mine has a box of really goofy shirts and his rule is, “If you are wearing a two piece and don’t have a shirt, here you get to wear one of these.” It keeps it consistent.

  • I live and serve at the beach. We always get push back on the no two-piece (or one piece that looks like a two piece) guideline. (And usually from parents who contend that they can find no cute one piece bathing suits).

    My response? Good!! Find the ugliest one you can!! 🙂

    Great wisdom, Leneita – and I LOVE ‘teach purity, not modesty’.

    Our year round guideline is ‘we want you to wear underwear…but we don’t want to see it.’

    • Leneita Fix Leneita Fix says:

      Thanks so much Darren! Yep- I’ve been told the same thing on the “cute bathing suit.” I love the “we don’t want to see your underwear!!” Awesome!

  • Scott Tinman says:

    I would also throw in the comment when talking about one piece vs two piece that if they don’t want to see me wearing a 2 piece then they should not wear one 🙂

  • Leave a Comment

    Please keep in mind that comments are moderated and rel="nofollow" is in use. So, please do not use a spammy keyword or a domain as your name, or it will be deleted. Let us have a personal and meaningful conversation instead.