Men tend to have a bad reputation when it comes to commitment and marriage, especially in my Latin-American culture. It is not strange to find a married man openly flirting with women, having “girlfriends”, or from time to time going “off-track” and finding business-like encounters.
I remember growing up and having adults inquire about how many girlfriends I had. The tragedy was double – not only do these memories go back to my elementary school years, but the insinuation was that the more girls I “had” the more (choose between man/macho/cool/important/savvy/attractive) I was. Notice that girls were something to “have”, and in order to achieve that one must chase them. That chase could take the form of luring, courting or tricking. The combination of positive reinforcement through the accumulation of girls (a.k.a. trophies/awards) with the thrill of hunting new ones has corroded most of our media, self-image and the dignity of manhood.
Cosmopolitan published an article on February 26, 2010, where Lady Gaga made a statement regarding men and dreams. “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams… if you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
Could we (men) turn this thing around? Could we start having affairs, flirting and even getting “creative” with our OWN wives? That would be radical. Having extramarital relations is so common nowadays. How about shooting for a different, higher, and Biblical standard? In the same way we can’t trade our parents or ourselves, could we commit not to trade our best friend, lover and the suitable helper God has given us?
I am not the most adequate man to challenge anyone. In a sense I am a son of my culture. I cannot change what I have seen, experienced and what triggers me. In a deeper sense I am a son of God and He is an expert in renewing hearts and minds. Let us be quiet heroes in our generation. Let’s get our thrills from pursuing our own wives and let’s pride ourselves in our consistent and loving commitment toward them.
Since God enables us to reach our full potential and promises not to abandon us, let us emulate what we have received and empower our wives in their dreams and keep the promise to be with them through thick and thin.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.”