Dear Mom and Dad:

If your kids could tell you how they honestly feel about growing up as pastor’s kids what do you think they would say? Here’s what some PKs would tell their parents.

“I think I would have liked them to know how hard it was to be the ‘good kid’ in school.”—Tim Allmann age 30 P’yongt’aek-shi Kyonggi-do, Republic of Korea

“The pressure and expectations are so much more than they can understand if they weren’t PKs. Trust that the values you teach will show up as we mature. Show us that a personal relationship with God is more important than going to church but that going to church is a part of that relationship.”—Kerri Loesche age 37 Loveland, Colorado

“All of my siblings are committed Christians involved in various ministries in our local churches so my parents must have done some things right!”—Mavis Sanders, age 50-something; Carol Stream, Illinois

“It’s not easy like in school. When you are in school people expect you to be Little Miss Perfect and do nothing wrong. I don’t think my parents know the full thing of it. They should hang out with more teenagers. Like have my dad go to public schools and see how kids who aren’t pastors’ kids hang out.”—Darcy Fisher, age 16; Hartville, Ohio

“There was a lot of pressure from the congregation and community. It seemed like we had such a lack of privacy in our own lives and when I or one of my siblings made a mistake it was scrutinized more because of that fact. It was kind of a double-edged sword because I also liked the fact that the congregation and community was so close-knit.”—Jennifer Murray, age 29; Fort Collins, Colorado

“Their kids need to know they’re more important than the church. In situations where the expectations of others invaded our lives I wish my parents would have heartily defended our family more often rather than just explain to me why people behaved that way. Rather than needing me to live up to those expectations for their own well-being I wish my parents would have been willing to sacrifice a job or two if necessary for the sake of their family.”—Amy Simpson, age 26; Wasilla, Alaska

“It really isn’t as bad as I make it sound because I always give them grief about how I’m supposed to do this and do that; but it really isn’t that bad.”—John David Nevergall, age 13; Elmore, Ohio

“All of us were individuals and should’ve been allowed to be more individual in our development rather than being molded into‘You are the pastor’s kid.’ We should’ve been more free to explore and find out who we were and what we wanted to do with our lives instead of having to wait so long and grow up and be away from home before we were really allowed to start thinking about that.”—Ruth Allmann, age 50; Richmond, Virginia

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