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After over a year off I’m now working in youth ministry full-time again, but now I’m married and trying to be in youth ministry and balance my family life as well. Can you share some thoughts with me to make sure I get it right?

Thanks for getting in touch with us. Ministry can be tough, and then adding in marriage… it can be even tougher. I know, from almost 20 years in ministry, that our timing in resolving conflicts may not be God’s timing. Here are a few things for discussion with your wife.

  1. You need to remember that your wife supports you and reacts to what you’re sharing with her. She is not in the discussions that you are in, but sees what you see. Her only option to speak out may be with you only. Be careful how you share conversations with her. You need to share them, but be accurate in what you’re sharing.
  2. Most likely it took the church some time to get into the situations you are encountering. Knowing that, realize that it may take the same amount of time to get back out of them. Most often tough issues cannot be resolved in one meeting, but take time and effort to bring about change. Too often, quick change is just a mask, placing a band-aid on an issue rather than struggling through the intricacies of the issue itself.
  3. Bringing about lasting change takes a long term commitment and long term effort. You both need to feel committed to whatever it takes to get the church to move in a more positive direction. It may not be easy, but in the long run will be well worth the investment and energy.
  4. Pray together. Pray that God opens eyes, open hearts, changes minds, alters perspectives, and bonds people together in unity. Prayer does have a powerful impact on life.

God’s blessings as you seek to be a catalyst for change in your church and ministry!

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