From time to time I’m asked to contribute to the Slant33 blog and this week this scenario was presented: A parent complains about a recent youth group event; how do you respond? Here’s the first half of my timeless wisdom on the subject:
Easiest question in youth ministry history! Seriously?
The first thing you should do is ignore the parent as long as possible. You are taking some well-deserved time off after the world’s Best Overnighter in the History of the Universe (TM). Here’s a handy rating scale to let you know how seriously you should take the criticism they level at you:
If the complaint comes via voicemailâ€¦ Listen carefully to the voicemail, then shake it off and go back to relaxing. A voicemail tells you that the person is 50+ years old, and to help them take a technological baby step, you need to delay returning the call for at least 48 hours. Unless, of course, they name-drop a key elder, deacon, or even hint they might go over your head to the senior pastor. Deduct 1 hour from the projected response time for each time they cry or scream in the message.
If the complaint comes via written letterâ€¦ Don’t even open it for a few days. Snail mail, really? Did someone use a Portal gun and drop me back in 1974? After a few days, simply toss the letter in the trash then claim it must have been “lost in the mail,” and when you see them across the pews, just say you are so sorry you didn’t respond earlier, but you had no idea.Invite teenagers into an epic adventure with Jesus. Check out Pierced: The New Testament today!
If the complaint comes via text messageâ€¦ Quickly reply with a short apology and promise to make everything right within 24 hours. This is to honor a parent who knows how to text and is also savvy enough to spread some serious thumbs down on social media if you don’t jump into action.
Obviously meant to be funny … lots more of the answer on the Slant blog if you want to head over there to catch it. HA!