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My Little Secret

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By Jeanne Mayo
1/10/2008

You see, my emotional battery is on negative. Let me give you my recent energy-suckers: I’ve directed three weekend retreats and one board of directors meeting in the last month. Today, besides the normal workload, I’ve dealt with one suicidal teenager, one guy who’s decided to move toward the gay lifestyle, and one really, really ticked mother
I’m about to tell you my little secret. I’m hiding out at my house right now...and my youth service starts in 35 minutes! Though I haven’t done this in years, I’m ditching my own youth meeting tonight. And if you stay in youth ministry long enough, there will probably be a night you’ll need to ditch yours too.


So what do you do during those super-depleted and empty times?
  • Give yourself permission to take a break— without guilt. Granted, I haven’t ditched my own youth service in years. But tonight that’s exactly what I’m doing. Remember, no one can put you on a guilt trip unless you buy the ticket.

  • Turn off your cell phone and computer. (I’ll turn mine off right after I meet my deadline for this column.) There’s a reason those devices have power buttons. Take control of the one million worlds that keep demanding another piece of you.

  • Do something that’s relaxing, fun, and/or renewing for you. If I gave in to my guilt, I’d justify my decision to skip the youth service by plunging into a little serious Bible study tonight. Nope. I’m washing my hair, eating an ice cream bar, and watching FOX News! Even a couple of hours of downtime can make all the difference in the world. Keep your mouth shut and make no major decisions. When I’m emotionally depleted, I can easily overreact and make stupid decisions—like telling that angry mom I dealt with today what I really think of her parenting skills! Just remember that you regret very few words that you don’t say.

    • Most of all, I’m telling myself, This, too, shall pass. Your emotions are like the battery on your car: You can jump-start them sometimes, but there’s also a point where you need to stop the motion and let yourself recharge.

    So while my youth leaders are running the service, I’m about to watch TV. Wow...that sounds pretty awful. I’m sure Jesus will understand, though, especially if I offer him an ice cream bar.

Conversation

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I am one of the youth ministers at my church. Always it has been said ALWAYS minister out of your overflow. When you have poured out to the many youth that need the God in you to help them, ALWAYS ask God to refill you with even more than what you ministered out of your being. God is awesome, HE will surely lead you and REFILL you!

Carmen Kelly 4:08:20pm on 8/05/2008

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i am a 26 year old youth leader in my church. i have been appointed to start the ministry, thru God of coarse, from the ground up. i have a passion for the youth at my church and all my focus and energy has been geared towards them and the edification of Gods Kingdom thru this ministry. however, i started to find myself suffering from a major burnout and in turn started to spiral downward. having never experienced anything like this before i became discouraged and could barely minister to myself let alone the youth. my battery was on empty!!! i too have tried the method that you wrote about and found it to be such a great source of restoration! you are no good to noone else if you dont first take care of yourself!!!

Sharnisha W. 6:01:46pm on 1/26/2008

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I too have recently gone through a period of emotional and physical burnout. I was trying to hang on and tough it out until I realized that I was not being effective in my teaching to my youth by drawing from an empty well. I had to ask the Pastor to be relieved from a monthly preaching engagement in our Sunday night service and I then searched the scriptures to remind myself how Jesus managed all of the demands on His time and person. He made a habit of getting away to spend time with His Father. I don't know why I think that I should do anything less. So when I am done with this post, I will crack open my Bible, listen to some worship music and just take a little rest in the presence of my God. I owe it to my kids.

Eric Austill 9:01:42pm on 1/14/2008

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I have done this for years! The other thing it does is communicate to your leaders, "Hey, I really need and trust you!" It allows leaders to step up to the plate. After 23 years of student ministry, leaders can become too dependent on you. It is nice to let them know that you are dependent upon them!

Rich Griffith 1:01:10pm on 1/13/2008

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I just had an emotional vacation last night... I'm eighteen, the leader of a large Bible study group at school, the director of my church youth group, and the captain of the varsity swim team. Tough schedule. I was at a birthday party for one of the girls in the school Bible study group last night, but it was just too much. Myself and my co-leaders skipped out for coffee and sat and talked for an hour about our lives, the group, our goals, and our faith. Fellowship is amazing. So is prayer in a busy coffee shop.

Nathan 12:01:09pm on 1/13/2008

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I know the feeling. This is my first time as a youth minister. I took on the ministry in May after our previous minister left, but I didn't officially start until September. I am only 21 years old and I have always wanted to do this. I have felt God's calling since I was 14, and now that I am doing it I'm not so sure this is what I really want to do. I think its just my hormons going crazy (right after I was hired I found out that my husband and I were going to have a baby!!) But it is good to know that there are others out there that sometimes just dont want to do it, it is very refreshing to know that I am not alone.

Karey Powell 11:01:22pm on 1/12/2008

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I recently had a month off from leading one of my church's mid-week youth groups so I could take in the adult Bible study and what a blessing it was! Two other people stepped forward so I and the lady I teach with could have some recharge time -- it had been a number of years since I was able to take in a regular Bible study class like that. I came back to class this week refreshed and renewed. :-)

Michelle Woodman 2:01:33pm on 1/12/2008

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I LOVE secrets and I have one too...I am taking an emotional vaction. So here I sit on my couch..in my most comfy PJ's...laptop on my lap doing random searching stuff,eating rasberry chocolate chip, and watching FOX news. I am hoplessly riddled with ADD. Let me start out by saying I am a 44 year old Mom. I now run the youth group by default. Our youth leader was offered a full/time camp diector, and took the job.And since I have always been a helper, I was asked to take over. We are a small startup church of about 75 and we do not have our own bulding. So I run the youth ministry out of my home. last Feb we started out with 7 kids and now we have up to 25-30 kids com to my home every Wed night. This has been an awesome blessing, I am so excited to see God at work in the lives of the Kids and I am humbled that God can work even when I feel I am not qualifed at alll. I have been a stay-at home mom for about 16 years now and I have always just volunterred where my kids are at. I never dreamed I would be leading a Youth Ministry.

Sandy Previty 9:01:05pm on 1/10/2008

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