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The Three-Legged Stool of Youth Ministry

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By Jeanne Mayo
8/23/2007

LEG #1: PRAY YOUR GUTS OUT
How many of us teach a life of prayer far better than we live one? Personally, as a product of an amazing Christian college and after having the privilege of attending several conferences and seminars all over the country, I'm always concerned that rarely is there a class devoted to developing a quiet time. All of us struggle to have a better quiet time. I often remind people that there's not a Christian, much less a minister, alive who hasn't felt convicted about needing to pray more

This journey does demand hours of sacrifice, but in losing what most people consider "having a life", you will find the priceless joy of seeing others’ lives change forever. Choosing to not work your guts out will inevitably leave you missing out on more than you know.

We all fight for consistency in our prayer closet, but keep in mind that the things we fight for the hardest are often the things that make us the strongest. Through the years, I've found a key to prioritizing time with the Lord and by making regular appointments with Jesus.

Remember: Prayer is like tithing. If you don't do it when you think you can't, you won't do it when you think you can. One of the most pragmatic suggestions I could ever give you is to pencil Jesus in to you daily routine, whether that be your calendar, day timer, palm pilot, or to-do list. To make it most effective, schedule your quiet time in the morning, before the day gets away from you. I know. I know. I'm not much of a morning person either, but remember the Bible tells that Jesus awoke early to get away and pray. He was the perfect example of prioritizing quiet times.

Of all the areas that will deepen your life as a minister, and as a Christian, this is one area that cannot be overlooked or ignored. It must become a discipline that you fight to make happen. In return, you will discover the unfailing aspect of His character, as He keeps this one leg of your ministry stool strong. Stand back and watch the Father unleash blessing upon your hands-on efforts. Above all, my you enjoy the priceless gift of growing closer to the friend who sticks closer than a brother

LEG #2: WORK YOUR GUTS OUT
When it comes to doing youth ministry, our gang doesn’t take this second leg of the ministry stool lightly. We work our guts out every week, knowing that the next mid week service might just be a life – changing night for a teenager. The years have taught me the unfortunate reality that many youth pastors don’t view their job seriously enough to work tenaciously day in and day out. Of course by no means am I talking about the amazing volunteers, who love teenagers unselfishly all while holding down a full-time job and even a family. To you incredible people – we applaud you! Remember the woman who offered up a lonely mite…all she had? Jesus recognized her and praised her! I believe the same should be done for those who give what little time they have to loving teenagers.

But for those of us paid full-time to do youth ministry, we must take seriously the scripture "faith without works is dead." I don’t think "works" entails just showing up to check a few emails, going out for an extended lunch, catching a round of golf, and maybe making it back in time to return a few phone calls. Afternoons rarely resemble hectic for the average youth pastor, with the exception of the one before the Wednesday night service. I’ve learned to adopt one of my all–time favorite verses as a motto for work. Hebrews 12:4 – "You have not yet resisted unto blood." One of my husband’s favorite lines is, "Don’t call in, crawl in."

Don’t panic. I’m not advising you to work day and night, ignoring your family and friends. I know as well as any one how easy it is to get burnt out, after working tirelessly through motivation of guilt, condemnation, or a sense of fear. If that describes you, then you probably need to take a personal Sabbath. However, I’m not convinced that ministers stand among the many workaholics in today’s society. Instead I find that many youth pastors’ ministry stool is a little wobbly; due to the lack of effort in this area. How do you strengthen this leg of your ministry stool?

• Are you spending extra time chasing teenagers?


• Are you making the youth service one they feel proud of?

•
• When was the last time you hung out at local ball game?

This journey does demand hours of sacrifice, but in losing what most people consider "having a life", you will find the priceless joy of seeing others’ lives change forever. Choosing to not work your guts out will inevitably leave you missing out on more than you know.

LEG #3: LOVE THEIR GUTS OUT
Ask any one of my team what my first response is when I greet them - in person or on the phone. I'm sure most of them would say it takes a few minutes to get through all the "I love you's" before actually getting to the conversation. Why all the "I love you's?" Believe it or not, we all, especially teenagers, crave it. Most of those who walk into your service on a Wednesday are not looking for just a cool place to hang out. They're looking for a family. What's the solution? It's the last leg of the youth ministry stool - Love their guts out. I know it's awkward for some of us to outwardly express love, but there are countless simple ways to show you care. Never wait for the perfect moment. Remind them every time they do anything remotely positive - being friendly, singing well in worship, organizing a get together. Anything! The moment will become unforgettable the second they here affirming words. And no matter how redundant it may feel to you, the moments will never be forgotten in their minds.

So who have you said, "I love you" or "I appreciate you" or "Man, it's great to have you around," today? Don't let another minute pass without letting one of your kids or one of your leaders know how much you deeply care about them. It may seem small to you, but it will keep your ministry stool strong, and give a teenager something to smile about.

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Funny how Christians tear each other up so often. "FYI" and "don't be so defensive" came off pretty condescendingly. Meanwhile, "I'm sorry" and "interview an actual youth worker" had the same tone. I know a lot of youth ministers who are poorly organized and focussed and throw weak programming together last minute. I also know guys in rough situations where there ARE no days off and they would LOVE to have time to go hang out at a ball game - they would call that "leisure" time. I think both things happen with unfortunate frequency. If you take the article as trying to be encouraging advice, you can skip that part if you are already a hard worker. Any youth worker knows that you get a lot of "advice" from a lot of areas. Take the well-meaning stuff with a grain of salt and thank God it isn't more of the bitter, selfish, ill-tempered "advice" you are inundated with!

seth 7:03:45am on 3/06/2009

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great

liz 12:08:12pm on 8/02/2008

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you are right in your article. it helps us in doing our ministry better in the public high school youth in the philippines. god bless you and may God continue to pour out his graces on you so that you can do great insight again. thank you!

benedict 8:06:31pm on 6/12/2008

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FYI, Jeanne IS an actual youthworker. One of the hardest workers I know. (Maybe you should check that out before jumping to conclusions) Please don't be defensive. If you are a hard worker, that's great. She's simply challenging us to go beyond the status quo.

n.ross 2:05:43pm on 5/29/2008

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I appreciate this article; however, I disagree with the statement that ministers do not "stand among the many workaholics in today’s society". there are countless retreats, books, seminars and offerings specifically for those in ministry to simply breathe, due to the fact that they work extremely hard. Afternoons may not be hectic - until after 3:00 pm and school gets out. Is there a youth minister who hasn't gotten a middle-of-the-night text message? or several?! how about Friday night lock-ins, Sunday morning duties, meetings, phone calls, going straight to high school youth group from teaching confirmation, crisis counseling, school visits and weeks at camp? I'm sorry, but I feel you need to interview an actual youth worker.

a. rendell 2:05:19pm on 5/28/2008

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This article really helped me. I am a new youth pastor at a New church in my home town. And it is rough right now, so thank you for the encouraging advice.

Cody Blair 10:09:37pm on 9/18/2007

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