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Balancing Family Life

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By Jim Burns
8/23/2007

After over a year off I'm now working in youth ministry full-time again, but now I'm married and trying to be in youth ministry and balance my family life as well. Can you share some thoughts with me to make sure I get it right?

Thanks for getting in touch with us. Ministry can be tough, and then adding in marriage.. it can be even tougher. I know, from almost 20 years in ministry, that our timing in resolving conflicts may not be God's timing. Here are a few things for discussion with your wife.

1. You need to remember that your wife supports you and reacts to what you're sharing with her. She is not in the discussions that you are in, but sees what you see. Her only option to speak out may be with you only. Be careful how you share conversations with her. You need to share them, but be accurate in what you're sharing.


2. Most likely it took the church some time to get into the situations you are encountering. Knowing that, realize that it may take the same amount of time to get back out of them. Most often tough issues cannot be resolved in one meeting, but take time and effort to bring about change. Too often, quick change is just a mask, placing a band-aid on an issue rather than struggling through the intricacies of the issue itself.


3. Bringing about lasting change takes a long term commitment and long term effort. You both need to feel committed to whatever it takes to get the church to move in a more positive direction. It may not be easy, but in the long run will be well worth the investment and energy.


4. Pray together. Pray that God opens eyes, open hearts, changes minds, alters perspectives, and bonds people together in unity. Prayer does have a powerful impact on life.

God's blessings as you seek to be a catalyst for change in your church and ministry!

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Jim, if it is possible...try and answer the question again..."After over a year off I'm now working in youth ministry full-time again, but now I'm married and trying to be in youth ministry and balance my family life as well. Can you share some thoughts with me to make sure I get it right?" I am married and involved in youth ministry. I really want to make an impact in the lives of the teens in my youth ministry, but at the same time I want a thriving relationship with my wife and family. How do I invest in youth ministry without neglecting my wife and family?

Matthew Rice 8:08:30pm on 8/29/2008

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What do you do when your spouse seems to never really be on board as far as ministry? Just when it seems that things are going good, my spouse pops off with something that makes me believe that the support I need from my spouse is just not there. Anyone ever have a spouse that seems to resent the call to ministry and would prefer that you never accepted the call?

YouthPastorTN 4:08:50am on 8/28/2008

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I too found the response a bit lacking in specifics, could be that the original question is rather vague, could be lack of space, could be because the specifics are as varied as the individual couple and parish. One suggestion that I would like to add is that you need to keep open communication with your spouse to avoid trivializing the issues you are dealing with or over emphasizing. Praying together is a response that you just can't go wrong with. God Bless.

Dave Riel 8:01:16am on 1/10/2008

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not sure how this thing works, but yeah, I would like to hear more about the topic of "making it all work".

Todd Looney 2:01:48pm on 1/09/2008

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Seems to me that you never really answered the question at hand (how to balance ministry and family life)... There's some good suggestions in there, but the whole article is pretty tangential.

Aaron 4:11:20pm on 11/29/2007

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