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Holy Apathy: What NOT to Care About in Your Youth Ministry
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By Mark Devries 08/28/2007
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When I came to Nashville almost 20 years ago (a place where, by the grace of God and a more-patient-than-I-deserved senior pastor, I still am), I was determined not to roll over and play dead. Armed with all the oppositional rhetoric I had learned from youth ministry experts, I was prepared for a fight.
What I didn’t realize was that I was prepared to fight almost all the wrong battles.
I battled the drop-off parents who just wanted a baby-sitter, the board of elders who just wanted me to minister to church kids, and the kids who could never commit to an event without knowing exactly who was going to be there. I battled my runt-of-the-litter status on the church staff, a senior pastor who just wanted me to keep work off of his desk and everyone else who simply wanted to protect the status quo.
But none of these battles gained our ministry a single inch of ground.
It’s easy to draw the battle lines when there are so many experts proposing the model for effective youth ministry: Jesus-Centered; Purpose-Driven; Worship-Centered; Student-Driven; and even Family-Based (my personal favorite). But after working intimately with a staggering variety of churches over the past few years, we have observed one undeniable reality: God uses all kinds of models (and sometimes no explicit model at all) to help young people are growing toward maturity in Christ.
Unfortunately, Bill missed that memo.
Bill was a new youth pastor who had completely fallen in love with a popular model of ministry. Within his first few months, Bill successfully alienated all of his key leaders with his diagrams and arrows and stratospheric theories. Communicating an unapologetic disregard for what had worked so well for this youth ministry in the past, Bill left his team covering their ears whenever they heard the long-term theories of their short-term youth director.
We’ve seen Bill’s story repeated over and over again:
It is impossible for a youth worker to focus on “the right battles” without letting go of the wrong ones. And to make this step, every youth worker needs to learn the value of “holy apathy.”
Holy apathy means we give exactly zero attention to those aspects of our churches and youth ministries we cannot change.
Holy apathy means that we lay aside our vision of what the youth ministry should be like until we have first heard well and clearly what the church’s vision of its youth ministry is.
Holy apathy means that we make ourselves servants of a vision that is larger than our own, a vision that we can only come to know deeply after years of listening and discerning God’s voice alongside the church’s leadership.
As Screwtape suggested repeatedly to his young apprentice, as long as humans can remain excessively focused on the wrong battles, they have lost before they even begin. What every youth worker needs is the ability to how to pick their battles and the wisdom to practice holy apathy toward the fruitless battles they refuse to fight.
Mark DeVries is the founder of Youth Ministry Architects (www.ymarchitects.com), a team of youth ministry consultants dedicated to helping churches strategically design, launch and build effective youth ministries.
What I didn’t realize was that I was prepared to fight almost all the wrong battles.
I battled the drop-off parents who just wanted a baby-sitter, the board of elders who just wanted me to minister to church kids, and the kids who could never commit to an event without knowing exactly who was going to be there. I battled my runt-of-the-litter status on the church staff, a senior pastor who just wanted me to keep work off of his desk and everyone else who simply wanted to protect the status quo.
But none of these battles gained our ministry a single inch of ground.
It’s easy to draw the battle lines when there are so many experts proposing the model for effective youth ministry: Jesus-Centered; Purpose-Driven; Worship-Centered; Student-Driven; and even Family-Based (my personal favorite). But after working intimately with a staggering variety of churches over the past few years, we have observed one undeniable reality: God uses all kinds of models (and sometimes no explicit model at all) to help young people are growing toward maturity in Christ.
Unfortunately, Bill missed that memo.
Bill was a new youth pastor who had completely fallen in love with a popular model of ministry. Within his first few months, Bill successfully alienated all of his key leaders with his diagrams and arrows and stratospheric theories. Communicating an unapologetic disregard for what had worked so well for this youth ministry in the past, Bill left his team covering their ears whenever they heard the long-term theories of their short-term youth director.
We’ve seen Bill’s story repeated over and over again:
- The youth worker who relishes debates about the need for a more contemporary worship service, while parents are asking for the mission trip sign up information a month after it was promised.
- The youth worker who has time to bemoan the pastor’s expectations, but who spends only a fraction of her time actually connecting with students outside of her meetings.
- The youth worker who loves to talk about paradigms, while there are Sunday School teachers for the coming week who still haven’t been recruited.
It is impossible for a youth worker to focus on “the right battles” without letting go of the wrong ones. And to make this step, every youth worker needs to learn the value of “holy apathy.”
Holy apathy means we give exactly zero attention to those aspects of our churches and youth ministries we cannot change.
Holy apathy means that we lay aside our vision of what the youth ministry should be like until we have first heard well and clearly what the church’s vision of its youth ministry is.
Holy apathy means that we make ourselves servants of a vision that is larger than our own, a vision that we can only come to know deeply after years of listening and discerning God’s voice alongside the church’s leadership.
As Screwtape suggested repeatedly to his young apprentice, as long as humans can remain excessively focused on the wrong battles, they have lost before they even begin. What every youth worker needs is the ability to how to pick their battles and the wisdom to practice holy apathy toward the fruitless battles they refuse to fight.
Mark DeVries is the founder of Youth Ministry Architects (www.ymarchitects.com), a team of youth ministry consultants dedicated to helping churches strategically design, launch and build effective youth ministries.
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I came into youth ministry
I came into youth ministry 15 years ago by what i thought was by chance and by golly, substitute Sunday School teacher that took the jr. high out for ice cream at the local Dairy Queen for Sunday morning teaching about how God is everywhere. What i have lerned over the years is that everytime i pray and ask God to give me the focus for the year and the the ability to miniter within that focus by whatever means He chooses...it always lines up with the rest of the church...I find that the children are getting the same message in childrens church only in a different format, the adults are getting the same message in the main church and the singles and young adults are getting the same message in their groups..all formatted for the audience and none of us are colaborating our ideas.
The Lord will take church where He wants to take his church, just each church has a different ministry but the same Gospel and Jesus intended. The key to a great ministry is not style, is not my vision of how it is to be laid out but the Lords vision. Prayer and obediance will get you exactly where God wants you to be regardless of whether you use powerpoint or whiteboard. Lockins or camping trips, speaking at conferences or preaching to 10. It all belongs to God...we are just the vessel chosen to be his hands and feet. It is God who gives the increase as long as we are listening, rich or poor, tall or short, big or small, video production or a one on one chat...when Jesus we make Jesus the author and finisher...it's all perfect!
I wonder if there are any
I wonder if there are any examples in the Bible that exemplify Holy apathy? Maybe with Peter..
or Barnabas? I think with Peter, it may have cost
Stephen his life. Stephen seemed willing to wait on
tables but Peter did not. I guess what I'm saying is, to me it's okay if there's not a price for someone else to pay that could cost them. We all say hindsight is 20?20. I just wonder when we will
all really have foresight enough to really care and help each other out when need be.
I know this puts a new twist on the idea of Holy
apathy. Instead of reaching people outside the ministry, we can also think about reaching people inside the ministry as well, prayerfully of course.
Here's where we can choose to do nothing and wait on God and feel good about what we are doing.
I believe this to be true. I
I believe this to be true. I work at a small church in Texas where under the grace of God have build a ministry from four to twenty students in less than a year. I get quite frustrated at the Pastor sometimes because he doesn't have the same outlook that I do. There are battle behind closed doors that don't need to be messed with. The "model" argument isn't an argument. I work with many different models, trhowing them out and finding what the students lean towards and use that to teach them. I refuse to work youth ministry off of the "model" 'Entertainment equals growth' I will teach my students that truth about God and His Word because I believe that no matter what model you use, no matter what fights you fight or don't fight, as long as you teach the Word of God honestly and openly you reach students for Christ. If you see something that needs to be changed hold your tongue until you are asked about it.
When God gives a vision to
When God gives a vision to the youth director/pastor for the youth ministry it is the job of the youth pastor to make sure the vision is successful and is maintain. A lot of time, Senior pastors and/or elders don't fully understand that the youth pastor has a vision also just like them. God speaks to all people concerning what he wants to see take place. We have to understand our position not in the church but in God. As long as we walk in the vision of the youth ministry, God will work it out that the vision of the entire church is also fulfilled in the youth ministry.
I agree 100%. There is no
I agree 100%. There is no model that works across the board for every youth ministry, outside of the servant model Jesus gave us. What works in City "A" is not necessarialy appropriate for City "B." Love God, love your kids, pray pray pray and watch the spirit move. I don't want to stay in a "small" ministry, but I would rather affect 10 for Jesus that entertain 100.
Now how do we teach people
Now how do we teach people that when they start working at a church? Priority one is not youth ministry, it is the ministry of the entire church. The church doesn't have to (or will) conform to the student ministry. The student ministry must work under the larger picture of the church as a whole body.
This might be the best question to ask someone when they are interviewing to be a pastor/director/whatever at your church. Do you understand how we function and can you operate in this same manner?
good word; it helps keep us
good word; it helps keep us on what matters to Jesus; loving God and serving people... isnt that what spiritualy leadership looks like? From there, God reveals his plan...
The first lesson I learned
The first lesson I learned about youth ministry was, don't be their friend, be their youth minister, and the second was to choose your battles, know where the ministry you are given should live and die. The idea of a specific model working for everyone is unfortunately near-sided. There really is no need to argue it, but there are certain principles and certain strategies that are universal. This article served as a wake up call that even though I may be in one of the battles, there may be others that I haven't let go of.
That is just an excuse for
That is just an excuse for small youth ministries to stay small. There is such a thing as a "model" for youth ministry, and it is constantly changing with time and technology. This "model" can be applied anywhere in the United States and it will probably work. I am the programming director of a Sr High Youth ministry of hundreds and hundreds. We have developed a program that continues to work and grow and I am now implementing it on the side in a small church. We have seen a youth ministry of 5 grow to ever 40 in just 3 months! Do not get caught up in trying to be "creative"! Take what already works and use it. This is what I have done in every situation and it has always worked! There is nothing new under the sun so stop trying so hard and use other functioning concepts!
i love the thought about the
i love the thought about the fact that not all programs work for all groups. every youth group is in a different place. i have battled bad ideahs a plans that were "a sure shot" over the last 4 years and the 6 yrs before that when i was in youth group feeling the effects of it first hand. i think i will take these thoughts with me to my next youth leaders meeting. holy apathy, what a powerful thing to get inside your spirit.
So right...missions has
So right...missions has taught me that God uses any model of ministry when the people who are running it are in love with Jesus and in love with parents and teenagers. We all know programs don't reach people...people fueled by the Holy Spirit reach people. We need solid programs but life change never occurs outside of relationship. ABC has entertaining programs... We have to be intentional about our methods and models...certainly our purposes...but you're right we need to stop fighting and just be obedient to work the plan and build and facilitate life-changing relationships with teens. Excellent.
How true this is! I have
How true this is! I have been serving in Youth Ministry for 14 years and my biggest frustration with the current trend of youth ministers is that they have an idea of where they want to minister and they are trying to convert every ministry they are serving into that specific idea for them. Youth ministers need to stop trying to do ministry for themselves and start doing it for those in the community in which they serve.
Love your thoughts!