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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (PG-13)
It must be really hard to be Michael Bay. He’s almost universally vilified for the way practically everything he touches turns into an over-the-top, all-action/no-plot mess. The online spoof site The Onion even wrote a fake news article about Bay next helming a remake of the ‘80s cartoon Thundercats—it was one of the most hilariously vulgar things I’ve ever read
So sometimes I feel sorry for the guy. But then he offers us a pile of utter garbage like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and I remember why people dislike his films so much.Hollywood would love nothing more than for us to turn off our brains when we go to movies—it ensures we’ll be back for more.
If the goal was simply to get butts in seats: mission accomplished. The film made 200 million dollars in its opening weekend, practically guaranteeing more sequels. Sigh.
Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is back, and heading off to Yale, but he has to leave behind both his awesome robot-car Bumblebee, and his beautiful robot-girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox). She’s not really a robot, but you wouldn’t know it from her acting ability. The first moment we see Fox the camera is focused on her caboose as she’s perched over a motorcycle, in shorts so short they make Daisy Duke’s look like sweatpants. But surely she’ll reveal a hidden strength and talent, just like in the first film, right? Nope. She’s here to look good while wearing few clothes and running toward the camera in very…slow…motion.
Oh, but if you do want a beautiful robot, it’s got one of those, too, as Sam is confronted by an aggressive girl at Yale who turns out to be a robot that can take the form of a human. How? I have no idea, and the film never explains it, but it seems that if the Transformers have that ability, it might be easier for them to blend in with humanity, right? We find out she’s a robot when an up-skirt shot reveals her tiny panties and a robot tail. Stay classy, Bay.
The truth is, there are few women in the film at all, and they all serve no purpose other than as dumb sexual objects—even Sam’s naïve mom.
So let’s talk about how crude it is. I long for the innocence of the last film, where a robot “urinates” on an irritating man. Now we’ve moved to multiple scenes of dogs humping each other and a robot humping Fox’s leg. The numerous 7-year-olds around me thought these scenes were hilarious (that’s a rant for another day). We also get an unasked-for larger-than-life shot of John Turturro’s butt in a g-string. And the topper is a gigantic robot, made out of multiple construction robots, that has wrecking balls in a conspicuous, anatomically correct place. Luckily, the numerous 4-year-olds around me probably missed that one (even more rant fodder).
So let’s see…what lowest-common-denominator addition have we missed? Oh, yeah. Racial stereotypes! There are twin robots whose voices make clear they’re supposed to be black “gangsta” types. One even has a gold buck tooth! And neither can read, which doesn’t seem to bother them. Other stereotypes abound, including a scene in France that includes two things: escargot and an annoying mime—which is all France is, right? Bay has really raised the bar on this one.
As the film progresses, the plot becomes increasingly inscrutable, and the clichés roll out. I’d warn you with a Spoiler Alert, but that implies a plot. Based on the first film, we all thought Megatron was the fallen angel of the mythology. But apparently there were multiple members of the Prime caste (including Optimus), but one of them rebelled and was thrown out and given the name The Fallen. So he’s the real bad guy—until the next film when they make up some new back-history and introduce a new, ultimate, evil robot. At one point Sam has to save Optimus by sticking a mysterious space-doohickey into his chest. Wait, didn’t that exact thing happen in the first film? Yes. Yes it did.
Is it all bad? Well, no. I enjoyed the first film, but thought it was light on robots (only 14). This time we’ve got 46—though most of them are hard to tell apart, and only on-screen for a short time. One robot that had some potential was a geriatric Transformer we meet late in the film, who was a bad guy, but is now a good guy. Unfortunately, he’s turned into the clichéd exposition-and-back-story dump, followed by a saw-it-coming return to the scene to kinda help save the day. Yay!! Yawn.
One thing I’m sick of seeing is the defense that these are just mindless summer action movies, so we shouldn’t read too much into them. But it’s just this sort of lazy thinking that causes a parent to bring their 4-year-old to these movies. Was there a debriefing afterward? I hope so…but I doubt it. But what should I expect when the film is PG-13, but the toys are 5+—that’s a definite mixed message, and parents can be easily duped if they don’t do their homework. Hollywood would love nothing more than for us to turn off our brains when we go to movies—it ensures we’ll be back for more.
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material.
Discussion Questions:
Scott Firestone IV is the associate editor for Group Magazine, online editor for youthministry.com, and a huge fan of music and movies.
This review first appeared on ministryandmedia.com. Go there. Take the tour. Sign up.
I did see this movie. I was a little shocked at the lack of thought required to make it happen. The action sequences were fantastic, as to be expected. Megan Fox is beautiful and used as eye candy, as to be expected. The problem was the unexpected. Using foul language as a cheap means of humor, totally unexpected because that was not an angle used in the first movie and at some points completely forced. As an African-American, I was completely offended by the two stereotypical, racist robots thrown into the movie. Let me get this clear, I am not calling Micheal Bay racist. But the portrayal of the robots is so blatant that it throws me back into days when all of the African-American roles were the gangsters, punks, and thieves. I know he was going for humor but fell far short. As a youth pastor, I would recommend this movie with caution. If you are a junior high leader, find out the facts and clear it with your parents first or you will have some apologizing and back tracking to do. If you are a high school leader, it can open up some great discussions and you can challenge your kids to use their brains. The one good thing I did enjoy about this movie is the sense of purpose. It comes into play very clearly at the end of the movie. Scott, thanks for your honesty and I did enjoy your review because it sparked further thoughts that I was having. Keep up the good work.
Ken 3:07:36am on 7/17/2009
OffensiveDustin: Why do get that feeling? I enjoyed the first film--you can check out my review on this site if you don't believe me. But this film is a devolution of the series. Would you like to argue with the points I make in the review, or just assume I went in hating it? I like fun blow-em-ups, but I still feel I should think critically when I'm watching something. It helps guard my heart.
Scott Firestone IV 1:07:42pm on 7/13/2009
OffensiveAaron: I'm 33. I watched and loved the original cartoon. I still have my Transformers toys from when I was a kid. I admit I didn't watch the Beast Wars cartoons--I was busy finishing college and getting married. You got me there. Feel free to call my review flawed, but if someone has to have seen every iteration of the mythology to understand the plot, I'd say it's the film that's flawed.
Scott Firestone IV 1:07:55pm on 7/13/2009
OffensiveI appreciate the honest oppinion! My youth group has a movie night planned this month and the kids are wanting to see this movie. After the review, I'm considering letting their parents make that choice! As with any review, personal oppinion is the base of the review! Thanks Scott for being honest!
April 9:07:24am on 7/08/2009
OffensiveDustin 9:07:53am on 7/08/2009
OffensiveI get the feeling you went into this movie knowing you would HATE it. I went to see it and enjoyed myself, I did think it started to drag at the end and yes there were some unnecessary sences, but overall it was a fun blow em up Summer Blockbuster. I have to agree with Scott here, keep it as a review, not an angry rant.
Dustin 9:07:11am on 7/08/2009
OffensiveWell, being likewise born in the "Transformers" & "G.I. Joe" generation, I don't blame Scott for his angry rant. Transformers was wholesome, with some worthwhile stories (and sometimes, lessons); but the second big film is a big devastator-mouth-sized spit-on-the-face on the original series. Yea, the graphics were awesome, but as stated clearly by Scott it was cliche all the way. So what can we Christians learn from this movie? Be wise with our money: spend it on the youth ministry instead rather than waste it on movies like this. Hahahhaa! XD
CyanFox 10:07:50pm on 7/07/2009
OffensiveAfter reading your review, I can tell that this movie was never intended for you. It was meant for people who grew up watching the various TV series. You said "...Sam is confronted by an aggressive girl at Yale who turns out to be a robot that can take the form of a human. How? I have no idea, and the film never explains it, but it seems that if the Transformers have that ability, it might be easier for them to blend in with humanity, right?" In the Beast Wars series, the transmetals were able to take on the form of organic life forms. But not all transformers had that ability. The origins of Megatron, the Primes, the Nexus, and The Fallen are all explained by the show. You say that the movie has no plot, when in fact, the plot is what the show was all about. Megatron wreaking havoc and trying to take all of Earth's energy sources for his own personal conquest. Granted, LOTS of details have been changed for the movie series (Bumblebee was a VW beetle in the show for instance). But overall, your review is flawed.
Aaron Kravik 7:07:43pm on 7/07/2009
OffensiveScott, I agree 110% with your review. I was so excited to see this movie, and it turned out to be a HUGE disappointment. Optimus was amazing, the rest of it was just one let-down after another. By all means, rant and rant away! I wish that hollywood and the rest of the world would see what they are doing to themselves when they produce/give in to garbage like this.
Mark 8:07:41am on 7/07/2009
OffensiveJames--I totally took it as constructive. I like feedback. I'm afraid the people behind G.I. Joe have forgotten the point behind the '80s series, which is that each person brought a unique set of skills and talents to the fight. The trailer makes it look like a bunch of people in super-suits--which strips them of their uniqueness. (Except Snake-Eyes, of course.) We'll see. :) Bee--I freely admit that.
Scott Firestone IV 10:07:40am on 7/06/2009
OffensiveYou got to admit that the fight scenes were better in the second than in the first movie.
Bee 9:07:20am on 7/06/2009
OffensiveNo problem, Scott (can I call you Scott). I understand what you mean about the questionable content in the movie. My wife and I (both children of the 80's) went to go see it last night. There were mostly adults there, but still we left talking about how, like the first movie, we can't watch this one on a movie night, or at a lock-in, because of a few sexual jokes, and quite a bit profane language. Keep up the good work, and I hope you took my comment as constructive and not destructive. (Let's just hope G.I. Joe has merit! Go Joe.)
James 2:07:49pm on 7/01/2009
OffensiveThanks for the input, James. I admit, this turned "angrier" than most of my reviews. But Bay's film is definitely sexist, possibly racist, and absolutely crudist (I made that one up), and I thought that it was more important to point those things out than the film's technical merits. Being surrounded by children watching these things didn't help my mood.
Scott Firestone IV 8:07:07am on 7/01/2009
OffensiveSeriously, thanks for reviewing the film, but... ...Please let it be a review, and not an angry rant, followed by discussion questions.
James 9:06:59am on 6/30/2009
Offensive
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