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Small group discussion is a powerfully effective tool for ministry. Students retain up to 70% of what they discuss compared to less than 10% of what they only hear. But because small groups are made up of people with unique personalities and problems, there are many ways for a group to get off course
So how can you get the most of your dialogue with students? Remember the following when you want to DISCUSS:Small group discussion is a powerfully effective tool for ministry. Students retain up to 70% of what they discuss compared to less than 10% of what they only hear. But because small groups are made up of people with unique personalities and problems, there are many ways for a group to get off course.
Hi JQ, Wow. Sounds like a much bigger issue at hand--one filled with doubt and fear amongst families and within the church. I don't want to make it sound bigger than it is, but from the outside, it sounds scary. My advice is walk slowly, lovingly, and firmly. First, give the parents the benefit of the doubt that their intentions are pure--they simply want to do what's best for their teens. They want to protect and provide for them. Honor them in that and encourage them that you want the same thing. And while there is no verse that says "Thou must keep all info secret in small groups," there's also not one that says "Thou must tell parents everything." You're not in the secret service, you are in ministry. In fact you have agreed to serve in a role to support and encourage both students and families. But by going behind a student's back you are not able to do support or encourage students and, as a result, you won't be helpful to parents. The best thing you can do for student and family is to shepherd students. Listen to them, pray for them, challenge them, and encourage them. In effect you're living out Rom 12:10 in devotion and honor. Walk slowly--parents need your support--but lovingly and firmly reveal how you're on the same team as the parent. You also want to see their teen grw and develop, but you have been called by the church to shepherd teens and that requires trust--on the student's part and the parent's. Praying for you now! Gregg
Gregg Farah 5:01:12am on 1/09/2010
OffensiveI noticed that you said "Confidence is key Remind students each time you meet that anything shared in your group stays in the group. The more secure your group feels with one another, the more readily they'll be willing to share openly and honestly." Have you ever had a parent who is upset about the confidentiality rule in small groups on youth ministry? Our rule is that all is confidential unless we believe the student is harmed, going to harm themselves or others. And, that ALL is confidential as far as students go. (In other words, students are never to tell what other students share) The parents want us to tell them everything that they "would want to know" and not have this rule of confidentiality. They even want their child to tell what another child says. They have been writing letters... calling it a "no talk" policy and DEMANDING a change and DEMANDING we send an "alert" to all of the parents telling them of our... as they call it... "no talk" policy. They want to be told EVERYTHING their child says (they looked at a porn magazine, they have a friend who smoked pot, they are thinking about sex, Johnny in our group smoked, etc.) We have talked to them about the need to develop trust with the students in order to help them apply biblical truths to their lives and have told them that this rule is no different than any confidentiality in any small groups in any church. They disagree and say it is not biblical and have asked for biblical examples or scripture that say that this should be in place. What would you quote? They are stating that we do not "operate biblically" and saying that we do not "use scripture to guide our rules instead of the world". Do you have any advice on how to answer them?
JQ 8:10:13pm on 10/26/2009
OffensiveHi Gina, Speaking directly with the student is the first thing to do, but it sounds like you've done that. I would try again and have someone with you--but be sure to be careful of your tone and body language. Speak in a way that shows support but also is specific. Let her know you care about her and what she has to say but that you also care about what others have to say. Ultimately, you'll have to let her know she won't be welcome if she can't function within the parameters you set. That's tough to say but is likely essential. Praying for you!
gregg Farah 11:08:07am on 8/13/2009
Offensivewhat do you do with the student who in the small group discussion just wants to argue or dominates the conversation with always taking the opposite side and arguing it to death even if she does not personally take that stand? I have tried talking to her about it but her refusal to respect adults makes it hard to talk to her about anything yet...and so far I have been left with kindly shutting her down because no one else can talk.
Gina 8:08:13am on 8/11/2009
Offensive
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