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Lesson Learned - Discernment

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By Brent Carl
10/7/2008

This morning, I had the best time laughing and joking with my son. We sat on the couch watching one of my least favorite children’s TV shows, Dora the Explorer, and the things Ethan was saying in response to her questions were just hilarious. If you have ever seen the show, you know that about two minutes into it you’re not only ready to turn the channel, you’re ready to throw something at the TV because of the complete and utter redundancy of Dora’s daily mission. My son has watched many an episode in his years on this earth, and has always chimed right in with answers to Dora’s questions
...It made me stop and think about how important discernment really is in our culture. The more I work with teenagers and youth leaders alike, the more I realize that too many times we just take what we’re being presented by media, movies, magazines, and music as being the truth.
He has always answered with a similar response, “Yes, Dora, I’ll help you row your boat”, or “Sure, Dora, I’d be glad to help you scale magic mountain.” Maybe it was the woozy state from the stomach bug he has been battling, or the fact that he hasn’t been able to keep any food or liquid down since yesterday, but I believe my boy is getting older and becoming more discerning. My son was firing back some pretty sarcastic answers to Dora’s questions. Ethan and I pointed out obviously ridiculous things time after time. It was so much fun!

As I sat there with my ill son, standing our ground, thinking of quick responses and not giving in to what every kid gives in to when they are watching the show (mindless responses to questions that we already know the answers to), I thought of one word that summed up what Ethan and I were doing . . .

DISCERNMENT!

Even though it was a silly show, my son was starting to process what he was seeing and hearing. He was beginning to ask questions internally. “Why, what, who, how, and where” questions were now becoming part of his thought process. It made me stop and think about how important discernment really is in our culture. The more I work with teenagers and youth leaders alike, the more I realize that too many times we just take what we’re being presented by media, movies, magazines, and music as being the truth. Messages to young girls from the media are telling a complete and utter lie that “in order to be beautiful you must look like this.” Or to guys that message is “unless you have a six-pack set of abs like Brent (ha ha) you’re a loser!” Man, how my heart breaks every time I see discernment-less responses to these messages that are being assailed on a daily basis at the young people of the world. Every time a teen cuts, purges, or gives into some sort of temptation, it is usually in response to a message that they have internalized as truth from a TV show, movie, song lyric, or magazine ad. How tragic!

I believe one of the things youth leaders need to continue to do with teens is teach them how to discern what they are being fed. Questions like, “Why is that true or not true?” and “What standard is that message being based on?” should be a part of everyone’s thought process. I think if we could begin to apply the only unmovable, unshakable, unstoppable standard of God’s Word to our lives as leaders, and then teach our young people to do the same, we would begin to see some push back, some rebellion, some outright defiance toward the confusing messages that have their sights set on teens from every angle and every medium. We need to stand up and discern what is right and wrong based on the standard of God’s Word!

Now I don’t know if Ethan understands the whole concept of discernment yet, I mean he’s only nearly six. But I tell you what, it gave me an incredible open door to help my son begin to learn that just like the Bereans in Paul’s day—to ask questions, dig deeper, and explore the truths of God’s Word so we can apply it to every area of our lives.

We all need a moral compass . . . God’s Word!

Lesson learned.

Now, I need to get back to my sick son . . . Sponge-Bob is on!


Brent Carl, M.S., BCCC
Youth Ministry International
Vice President of Training Operations

Brent Carl is the Vice President of Training Operations for Youth Ministry International, a missions organization that specializes in providing training and resources for Youth Leaders worldwide.

Brent is a youth ministry veteran who loves to teach, preach, train and engage with students and those who work with them. He is in his 19th year of full time ministry to students, and is currently lining up speaking engagements for 2008-2009.

If you would like more information on Brent and Youth Ministry International please contact him at brent@ymionline.com visit his blog at www.ninetyseventhree.blogspot.com or check out what YMI is all about at www.youthministryinternational.com

Brent and his wife Bonnie, and 2 children live in Rochester, NY.

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Brent, I have just discovered your website. After running from the call of God most of my adult life I am about to step into the role of Youth Pastor. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm sure I will be using this website for resources. Thanks for all the future help.

Chris Leab 6:04:18am on 4/04/2009

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