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As student ministers, we can easily get so caught up in the lives of everyone else’s teens that ours seem to suffer. We expect our teens to have it all together—we cannot make this assumption. From my own experience, I know this is far from the truth. Our teens struggle just as much as the ones we minister to in our groups.our own teens (if you are the parent of a teenager). This is a critical aspect of ministry, especially student ministry. As student ministers, we can easily get so caught up in the lives of everyone else’s teens that ours seem to suffer. We expect our teens to have it all together—we cannot make this assumption. From my own experience, I know this is far from the truth. Our teens struggle just as much as the ones we minister to in our groups.
I do not work with the teens at church, but I work with younger children. Some of them have grown into teens, and I still have relationships with them. I also teach voice lessons to many teenage girls. I have discovered that my 15-year-old son is hurting. He doesn't know where the pain is coming from, but I think it is because of the divorce of his father and I. We divoreced almost six years ago, but my son says he has been really lonely for only about a year. His dad is always with us, and has actually lived with us when times were hard (We have two Autistic children who need extra attention, too.) My son and I have always been very close, and I have always poured love on him, but his father is kind of cold and rude, at times. My son didn't get a lot of spankings when he was young, because he was a very good child. He got them all when he was two, I guess. He was everyone's sweetheart...Respectful, cheerful, smart, talented, funny, etc. Why is he struggling? He left his email open, and I found some things I didn't like. I sent him a very loving email about how I had found it, and that we need to talk about it. I have, of course, made some adjustments with the computer and phone, so he has no electronic freedom at present, but he doesn't even want it because he is so sad. He was SO angry with himself for disappointing me. I have never seen him blow up like this before. He kept hugging me, but then he'd throw his basketball against the wall and scream. He kept hugging me and crying. Something like this has happened before, when he came to me and admitted something to me, and he just cried and cried. But he didn't get THIS angry with himself. He said that he has failed the one person that he wants to make proud. I told him that God didn't intend for him to impress me and be my little trophy to show off. I told him that God gave him to me so that I could be God's love and hands and arms to him (my son). I am the one who sees all of his messes, falls, and flaws, and picks him up, cleans up his mess, holds him, helps him to spit up all of that stuff that is unwanted, and to help him to keep going, to grow and be better. That's a mother's love. It was good that I was the one who found his emails, because I am the one who loves and nurtures him. I need to know how to help him get over this and use it as a lesson learned, and to grow and be better. Do you have any advice to offer? Thank you so much, and God bless you!
Anitra Blunt 12:03:40pm on 3/13/2009
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