Riddle me this youth worker: When is thinking about yourself not selfish?
Just ask any flight attendant. They’ve got the words memorized: “Please be sure your own oxygen mask is secure before attempting to assist others.”
Maybe those words that ought to be posted over every youth minister’s desk.
We’ve seen too many flat lined youth workers who stepped out of the game altogether, primarily because of a failure to practice what we have come to call the Law of the Oxygen Mask
They get thrown and thrashed by the tornadic winds of ministry, running and reacting to every need, justifying the sacrifice of their own emotional, spiritual and physical health.
They get thrown and thrashed by the tornadic winds of ministry, running and reacting to every need, justifying the sacrifice of their own emotional, spiritual and physical health.
But this kind of youth ministry doesn’t help kids. When we neglect the care of our own hearts, we find ourselves with little to give to those who so desperately need us.
So right now, take a minute to check your oxygen mask with these three questions:
When Was the Last Time You Had a Sabbath?
Our bodies were designed to work in a rhythm of six days of work and one day of rest. Just because we have the opportunity do meet a need does not necessarily mean that every needs represents a call from God. Remember the beginning of Jesus’ ministry? People were lined up outside the door, but he was “in a solitary place,” securing his own oxygen mask.
How Did You Move Intentionally Into the Presence of God Yesterday?
One veteran youth pastor has said, “Show me 10 youth pastors who say they have a great prayer life, and I’ll show you seven liars.” We’re not sure about the statistics, but the sentiment is true enough. Most of us are more comfortable speaking, programming and being with kids than they are at moving intentionally into God’s presence on a daily basis.
How Recently Have You Prayed, “Lord, Show Me Myself”?
It is common practice among Christians to pray “Lord, Show Me Yourself,” (songs with the lyrics “Open the Eyes of My Heart” and “I Want to Know You” come to mind). But when we ignore the challenge of knowing ourselves, we naturally become driven by the reactive compulsions created by our own histories.
Jesus said, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) If we want to make an impact on kids, if we are driven to be self-less, we may just have to start with putting on our own oxygen mask first.
Of course, Jesus understood the principal perfectly. When there were people lined up outside the door, waiting to be healed in the first chapter of Mark, where did the disciples find Jesus? Not caught up in the crisis of the moment. He was in “a solitary place,” praying.
But for some reason we find that most youth workers struggle to find the time (read “make the time”) to pray, read our Bibles, and just hang out with God. We hear it from youth leaders everywhere we go. They know they need to spend more time in scripture and prayer. They know that it’s an amazing privilege. They just don’t know how to squeeze in the time. Maybe it’s because, deep down, most youth pastors are git ‘er done kind of people. We want to accomplish something, make a difference, and change lives. Anything that gets in the way of that will have to wait. Prayer time is either a lovely luxury we have to sacrifice or an awkward interruption to our day.
If you’re one of the thousands of youth pastors who are addicted to accomplishment, here’s a radical idea: God has arranged the world in such a way that stopping for a time of prayer and scripture is incredibly efficient.
We will actually accomplish more by doing less. A day started with a time of devotion is not only more fulfilling, more peaceful and more joyful, oh my gosh, it’s actually more effective.
Martin Luther put it this way hundreds of years ago: “I have so much to do (today) that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”
Here are three reasons why practical, results-oriented youth workers should still start the day in prayer:
- Time management: Time with God has a marvelous way of setting priorities. The really crucial items on our to-do list become clearer when we hold them up to the light.
- More effective counseling: When we’re breathing in the good air, we breathe it back out into our students’ lives. It just comes flowing out of us: “Hey, I read a great proverb this week that talks about what you’re going through.” From a simply practical standpoint, it seems likely that God’s word on any subject is going to be much more useful than ours.
- Unfair advantage: Prayer gets us in touch with God’s Holy Spirit, the secret weapon that transformed the disciples from a bunch of guys hiding in a dark room to the ones who “have turned the world upside down.” (Acts 17:6) If we really want to change the world, we need all the supernatural help we can get.
Leftover Ideas
But it’s tough to find time to spend with God, when pastors are asking for results, treasurers are asking for receipts, parents are demanding better, more frequent communication and students want us to show up at their dance recitals.
But putting it off is not really an option. Just like the over-eager parent who tries to put the oxygen mask over their struggling children, if we don’t breathe in some fresh air, we’re going to pass out. In youth ministry, the symptoms of oxygen deprivation are typically frustration, stress, and burn-out. If you’re feeling any of those symptoms, you might ask yourself, “When’s the last time I took a deep breath of fresh air?”
To help you out, here are three ways we’ve seen it work for youth workers around the country:
Name the priority: Some youth workers stay on target by saying out loud, “My relationship with God is more important than …” Then they refuse to do that thing before they’ve done their devotional time. “God is more important than my email.” “God is more important than Starbucks.” Whatever you think will help you remember the priority.
Accountability. You certainly have someone in your life who will help.
Write a bumper sticker: Discipline is usually the result of passion, and passion comes from having a vision. Some people are helped by a 7-word statement of why they want to invest in their own Bible and prayer time. Here are some I’ve heard: “Tune your instrument before the symphony starts.” “Accomplish more by doing less.” “Take time to sharpen your saw.” “Be still and know that I am God.” A clear vision leads to passion, passion leads to discipline, and discipline has amazing results.
We hope one of those ideas can jumpstart your personal devotion time. We need to do whatever it takes to develop that “long obedience in the same direction” that gave Eugene Peterson the title to his first book. Sometimes, we youth leaders are just as hooked on instant gratification as our youth are. If we’re not “feeling it,” we give up. Once again, the flight attendant’s advice is appropriate: “Remember that oxygen is flowing, even if the bag is not fully inflated.”
* Article first published in Group Magazine, 2008.
Mark Devries is a youth pastor and founder of Youth Ministry Architects, a youth ministry coaching service that works with individual churches to establish sustainable, deep-impact youth ministries (
www.YMArchitects.com).
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