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Two Words that can Kill your Youth Ministry

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By Mark Devries
6/16/2008

College Street Church* had just hired Jack,* their new youth worker. And because he came to them with limited experience, the church provided him a year of youth ministry coaching.

Our first conversation was positive enough
College Street Church* had just hired Jack,* their new youth worker. And because he came to them with limited experience, the church provided him a year of youth ministry coaching.
But after our second visit, I had quickly learned Jack’s favorite two words: “I know.” Curiously, each “I know” was promptly followed by his failing to put into action the very principles we believed he already knew.

Within 6 months, Jack was moving on. His two-word mantra just didn’t work. It didn’t work with parents, with volunteers, and it especially didn’t work with his boss.

Over the past few years, I’ve been amazed at how many youth workers have simply stopped learning, other than attending conventions and reading articles that echo their own opinions. These “I know” leaders seem to fit the description of learning guru Edward DeBono: “…the only people who are very satisfied with their thinking skills are those poor thinkers who believe that the purpose of thinking is to prove yourself right.”

Those who study the learning process identify four distinct phases:
  • Unconscious Ignorance: You don’t know what you don’t know
  • Conscious Ignorance: You know enough to know what you don’t know
  • Conscious Knowledge: You’re aware of what you know (but have to concentrate to access it)
  • Unconscious Knowledge: You have mastered what you know (and it comes automatically.
Those who sustain long-term, deep impact youth ministries make a mission out of eradicating unconscious ignorance. Here’s how they do it:

  1. They are driven to discover what crucial skills or knowledge about youth ministry they do not yet possess. For some it may be knowing how to grow a youth group. Others might say, “I just can’t seem to recruit volunteers or launch small groups.” And still others struggle with getting parents (or senior pastors, or…) on their team.” (Clue: If you can’t discover what you don’t know, keep your ears open to your critics).

  2. They select a single top learning priority to focus on. They read, strategize, experiment, call, develop theories that don’t work, and keep digging. (Clue: If you have trouble finding time for this kind of learning, take 10 minutes at the beginning of every day to work toward filling in the most important gap in your ministry skill set).

  3. They run—they don’t walk—to find youth ministry mentors. I’ve heard too many experienced youth workers say, “I’ve never been able to find a mentor.” But as we talk further, it becomes clear that they have invested only minimal time in such a search. (Clue: As a last resort, f you can’t find a youth ministry mentor in your area, contact Youth Ministry Architects. It’s what we do).

I particularly love one of Jim Collins’ descriptions of the “Good to Great leader” as the kind of leader who approaches challenges with a curiously teachable “I don’t know” attitude. Let’s declare a moratorium on the two words that can kill our youth ministries and embrace the effectiveness that can only come to those who are daily learning “what they don’t know.”

*Not Actual Names

(Edward De Bono, Six Thinking Hats, New York, NY: Backbay Books, 1999, p. xi)



Mark DeVries is a youth pastor and founder of Youth Ministry Architects, a youth ministry coaching service that works with individual churches to establish sustainable, deep-impact youth ministries (www.YMArchitects.com).

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I'm concerned for many Youth Pastors that I've met over the years because it seems as if the best way to do youth ministry is to do it contra-"I know". Instead of saying, "I know," they are saying, "I don't know. It's just what it is." I think this is happening not just with the methodology of Youth Ministry, but also in the way we teach and study scripture and Theology. It's becoming a trend to steer clear of Theology and exposition of Scripture and I think it's because Youth Pastors don't want to take the time to study and prepare themselves. Could this be the reason we have so many Biblically ignorant college students who are walking away from their faith when their beliefs are called into question?

Phil 11:07:01am on 7/16/2008

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learning is part of life not a path of limitation

stephen 6:07:38am on 7/02/2008

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We can never stop learning or "knowing" too much!

Rebecca 12:07:08pm on 7/01/2008

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